It often seems that some of the things that I talk about are very simple and may seem glaringly obvious, like the importance of eye contact.
For example when I am in a meeting, at a networking event or even giving a presentation, it's quite easy to not look at someone who I deem, for some reason, scary or intimidating.
When you take away your eye contact from someone it does affect them; How do you feel when someone doesn't look at you?
I often see presenters who don't look at the audience, their eyes look down...
It can trigger all sorts of thoughts ranging from... they are unconfident, lying, shy, to... they don't value me as they are not looking at me - none of which may be helpful to you or what you
intended them to feel.
When you are talking to people it's really important to include everyone in your eye contact.
Here are a few advices:
The following general principles should be remembered and applied to negotiations for any site, service, or supplier in the meeting industry!
By following these simple guidelines, a meeting manager can utilize the methods and lessons of meeting management in a more efficient manner.
• Present and maintain a professional attitude.
• Control stress and tension.
• Avoid politics and egos.
• Take time to gather all facts and requirements beforehand.
• Meet with the proper hotel or site people who have the authority to make decisions.
• Know all the following Do’s and Don’ts.
• Define the purpose and objectives of the meeting.
• Know the event.
• Have printed copies of meeting plans available.
• Make key contacts in all services and sites.
• Follow up frequently.
• Obtain peer referrals.
• Contact union stewards before an event at a union venue.
• Communicate with clarity and outline everything in writing.
• Make all agreements part of the written contract.
• Possess the authority to make a decision (or sign a contract).
• Possess the authority to make a decision (or sign a contract).
• Be ethical.
• Ask questions.
• Listen and pay attention.
• Minimize all distractions.
• Verify all legal clauses of the contract with an attorney.
• Know the budget.
• Sacrifice quality for cost.
• Make unreasonable demands.
• Insist on being the final authority.
• Be inconsiderate of a supplier’s profit margin and business needs.
• Escalate and overestimate needs.
• Hesitate to ask questions.
• Be apprehensive about negotiating for everything required.
• Promise what cannot be delivered.
• Lie or misrepresent.
• Jump at the first offer.
• Pass up a good deal based on a personality conflict.
• Be intimidated.
• Hesitate to advise the facility of changes.
Source: meeting management association
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What is assertive communication?
Assertive communication is the ability to express positive and negative ideas and feelings in an open, honest and direct way. It recognises our rights whilst still respecting the rights of others.
It allows us to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions without judging or blaming other people. And it allows us to constructively confront and find a mutually satisfying solution where conflict exists.
So why use assertive communication?
All of us use assertive behaviour at times... quite often when we feel vulnerable or unsure of ourselves we may resort to submissive, manipulative or aggressive behaviour. Yet being trained in assertive communication actually increases the appropriate use of this sort of behaviour. It enables us to swap old behaviour patterns for a more positive approach to life. I've found that changing my response to others (be they work colleagues, clients or even my own family) can be exciting and stimulating.
The advantages of assertive communication
There are many advantages of assertive communication, most notably these:
There are, of course, disadvantages...
Disadvantages of assertive communication
Others may not approve of this style of communication, or may not approve of the views you express. Also, having a healthy regard for another person's rights means that you won't always get what YOU want.
You may also find out that you were wrong about a viewpoint that you held. But most importantly, as mentioned earlier, it involves the risk that others may not understand and therefore not accept this style of communication.
What assertive communication is not...
Assertive communication is definately NOT a lifestyle!
It's NOT a guarantee that you will get what you want. It's definately NOT an acceptable style of communication with everyone, but at least it's NOT being aggressive.
But it IS about choice Four behavioural choices There are, as I see it, four choices you can make about which style of communication you can employ.
These types are: direct aggression: bossy, arrogant, bulldozing, intolerant, opinionated, and overbearing indirect aggression: sarcastic, deceiving, ambiguous, insinuating, manipulative, and guilt-inducing submissive: wailing, moaning, helpless, passive, indecisive, and apologetic assertive: direct, honest, accepting, responsible, and spontaneous Characteristics of assertive communication There are six main characteristics of assertive communication.
There are six assertive techniques - Let's look at each of them in turn:
Remember, your sudden use of assertiveness may be perceived as an act of aggression by others.
There's also no guarantee of success, even when you use assertive communication styles appropriately.
"Nothing on earth can stop the individual with the right mental attitude from achieving their goal; nothing on earth can help the individual with the wrong mental attitude"
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